How I Kicked Walking Pneumonia’s Ass (Without a Doctor or a Prescription)

For almost the entire month of February I felt like crap. I always feel like crap in the winter, but this was more than depression – it was lethargy and achiness and a cough that just would not go away. I was most definitely sick.

But with what?

Despite the impending mandate, my broke ass still doesn’t have health insurance (nor do I really want insurance that only covers western medicine), so going to the doctor was out. I started researching my symptoms and within an hour or so it was clear. I had walking pneumonia.

Shit.

People die from this.

This isn’t an inconvenience, it’s an emergency.

I researched treatments. Antibiotics. Shit.

1.) I hate antibiotics, and I’m sorry about the TMI, but to be blunt, they give me yeast infections. Ew. No.

2.) Again, I cannot go to the doctor. No doctor, no prescription. No prescription, no antibiotics. So, that’s out of the question.

This actually isn’t a problem for me because I have the most awesome recipe for homemade antibiotics EVER. It’s saved me from a severe UTI several years ago. My kidneys were literally on fire and I was peeing more blood than urine. I threw together a batch of this stuff and I was COMPLETELY better in two days.

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HOMEMADE ANTIBIOTIC

•1 gallon of distilled water
•6 or 7 Lemons – organic if possible
•1 bulb of garlic
•Powdered cayenne pepper
•2 TBSP Natural raw organic honey
•Pure unfiltered organic single ingredient cranberry juice (Knudsen is a good brand)

Take about 8 to 10 ounces of the water out of the gallon. Heat that water in a teapot. Squeeze the juice from the lemons and add it to the jug of water. Peel about 8 to 10 cloves of garlic (super easy way is to put them in a shaker and shake the crap out of them and the skins will fall right off). Crush the garlic. Don’t chop it or slice it. Crush it. You can use the heel of your hand or the side of a knife blade. Let the crushed garlic sit for about 10 minutes. This activates the antibiotic properties of the garlic. Add the crushed garlic to the jug. Put a little bit of the water you heated in the teapot into a separate glass and mix in the 2 tablespoons of honey until it melts into a liquid and add that mixture to the jug. Finally, add as much Cayanne pepper as you can stand (about 1 to 2 teaspoons is usually good) and top the jug off with straight cranberry juice. Recap the jug and shake well. This stuff is the shit! You’ll smell like a shrimp boil but you’ll feel so much better you won’t care.
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That’s not the end of it though. That’s just the first part, here’s what’s really important.

I took a look at my diet.

Over the month, my condition had been getting worse and worse. When I took inventory of what I had been eating, it was no surprise. With my money dwindling, I had stopped eating healthy and started eating cheap junk – peanut butter sandwiches, grilled cheese, Ramen noodles, even pop tarts. On my best days I was having eggs and bacon. I was also drinking alcohol. A lot. And coffee. A lot.

My system was TOTALLY acidic.

I’ll spare you the full pathology lesson, but to explain quickly, your body’s pH is extremely delicate. PH ranges from 0 – total acid, to 14 – total alkaline. Blood likes to be around 7.4 pH which is mildly alkaline. A deviation in any direction of just one pH can kill you. Bacteria, like humans will do one of two things in any situation – it will either adapt to its surroundings or it will die. If you, like most people eating the Standard American Diet, have a somewhat acidic environment inside of you then the bad bacteria that is causing you problems is there because it has adapted to thrive in this acidic environment. Introducing alkaline attacks it – it can’t survive in this new alkaline environment.

I’ll let you do the research on the specifics, but in general, foods are either acid forming or alkaline forming. Things that are acid forming include almost everything you already know isn’t good for you – fried foods, processed foods, a lot of meats and dairy, and most of all flour and sugar. You know, like in pop tarts.

Alkaline forming foods might surprise you. Many of them are what we would consider acidic, and while they may be acidic in their original form, our bodies are little chemistry labs and some crazy stuff happens to food once we chew it up and digest it.

The most alkaline forming food?
Lemons.

Weird, right? But it’s true. Apple cider vinegar is up there too, as well as most citrus fruits. Leafy greens – like kale – are great alkaline formers and even some veggies with a less stellar reputation – like potatoes – are alkaline forming.

A good rule of thumb for picking alkaline foods is to stick with fruits and veggies that don’t come in can or a jar. Shop in the produce aisle.

Now, examining my situation; I’ve been sick for a month, I was getting worse, and I’ve been eating tons of flour and sugar. This isn’t normal for me. I was craving it because the bacteria inside of me was asking for it. Weird science! I needed a little more aggressive approach.

Enter the king of alkalizing: baking soda.

Yup. Cheap old overlooked baking soda. Think about it. Back in the day, what did your parents or even your grandparents take to ease indigestion, stomach pains, and cold or flu symptoms?

Was it maybe… Alka-Seltzer?

Alka-Seltzer = alkaline seltzer.

Q. What’s bubbly and super alkaline?
A. Baking soda.

I highly recommend finding an aluminum free option for ingestion. Bob’s Red Mill makes some that you can find in the healthy part of the baking aisle in most decent grocery stores. Just mix a half teaspoon in 6 ounces of water 3 to 4 times a day and stir until it’s clear again. I suggest downing it like a shot and chasing it with an orange wedge. It taste like shit. Cool factor: if you pop the orange wedge in your mouth and chew it while there’s still baking soda residue in there, it has a carbonating effect and it feels kind of like pop rocks! It’s weird but cool!

So, after months of misery, I started alkalizing, and after four or five days I was pretty much cured. I still had some mucus coming out, but that’s good. I will warn you that this method is war. It’s you against the bacteria or the virus or whatever else is trying to kick your ass. Most Western medicines just dull the symptoms of being sick, but here’s a little secret they don’t want you to know…

Symptoms arise from your immune system doing it’s job! Got a fever? That’s your body trying to cook out the bad shit! (May I suggest more cowbell?) Itchy eyes? Runny nose? That’s your body fighting and pushing out the enemy. Taking “medicine” that eases symptoms is like attacking your own army!

So, when you join forces with your immune system and work to fight the common enemy, two things happen.

1.) Everything gets a lot worse for a few days.

2.) You get better.

So that’s it! That’s how I conquered walking pneumonia! Homemade antibiotics, an alkaline diet, and the alkaline atom bomb of baking soda. Of course, getting enough sleep and drinking plenty of water and herbal tea are also important!

The best part is that this works on just about any ailment you can have and it even helps with serious diseases like diabetes and cancer! Plus, if you keep up the alkaline diet even after you’re better, it’s a great preventative measure to make sure you don’t get sick again!

Here’s to DIY health!